“The World According to Jihad” – Report on 1/20 Game at Frank’s House

Hello, all! Yes, it is me, Jihad a.k.a. Dominick—the greatest Poker player of all time here. Unknown a.k.a. Frank asked me to write a report of the crazy antics and overall poor Poker playing that occurred at his home on January 20, 2007. So, here’s my take on the night! Please note: If you are easily offended, please stop reading right now!

The first tourney of the night was a 6-handed SnG that included early-comers Frank, Jihad, City, GOAT, Chill and Code Blue—who are all DDPT members. Code Blue busted out early, as did City and Chill (Chill busted out early??? What a surprise!). Jihad, at this point was chip leader, and was smacking Frank and GOAT around like the pink-panties-wearing Poker foolz that they are. GOAT is the Short Stack, and he pushes all-in. Jihad quickly calls. Flip ‘em over: GOAT has 10-4 of diamonds, while Jihad has AJos. Clearly, this GOAT was about to be sent to slaughter…but hold on! The flop comes and it’s all diamonds!!! GOAT has a flush! Jihad’s Jack is a diamond. Can he outluck GOAT and get another diamond on the board, thus giving him the bigger flush??? Nope! GOAT’s absolutely, positively nonsensical (i.e. dumbass) play pays off, and he doubles up. This renders Jihad the Short Stack at the table. A ridiculous turn of events, but, hey, that’s Poker, baby! Jihad smiled and congratulated the GOAT—and even shook his hand while saying, “Good hand!” But, of course, it WASN’T a good hand AT ALL! Frank, the ultimate copycat, followed suit by sucking out on Jihad in the next hand, when Jihad pushed all-in with QQ, and Frank, who was about to fold but realized it wasn’t gonna cost much to stick around since he was on the BB, calls with A-7. Again, Jihad is holding the best starting hand…but in Poker, as we all know, that don’t mean diddly squat! Frank hits his A on the turn, and Jihad is sent packing. Jihad, the ultimate gentleman, congratulates Frank, shakes his hand, and exits the table. What happened afterwards is not known by Jihad, who went and schmoozed with the other guests who were arriving as Frank lost in the heads-up round to GOAT. This was like the “Twilight Zone” moment of the night, as GOAT, who is one of the worst Poker players on the planet, actually won a game! Amazing! The next thing you know, the ocean will freeze over and cows will actually be jumping over the moon in the very-near future! Good job, GOAT!

Running fashionably late was the GE Money crew. When they finally arrived, there was Mike (quiet and pleasant), Abby (loud and louder), Stinger a.k.a. Chrissy (always a lady), and Dan (who later would receive his Poker nickname of “White Chip”…but more on that later!). There were 15 players overall, thus the group was broken up into 2 tables. I was at the upstairs table with Don, Mike, GOAT, City, Liza and Frank (who was sitting to my right—nice!). Right away, I made my presence FELT at the table, knocking people around and building up my stack. Mike was doing pretty well, too—and he was chip leader. When Dave was knocked out downstairs, Frank said I had to go downstairs and play there, since I was on the SB. This had to make him very, very happy—and ultimately is what led to his success in the first tourney! When I get downstairs, I see everybody with a small chip stack…that is, everyone except Dan, who has a mountain of chips in front of him that resembles Everest! I sit down and start pushing people around down there. However, Dan increases his chip stack off of everybody, knocking players out of the tournament left and right! He did this by throwing in two white chips on every hand (each white chip is worth $1000). Thus, at some point, Dollar Bill, the clever genius that he is, dubbed Dan “White Chip”! Clearly, he knew he was getting lucky—and with that gigantic stack of chips, he could afford to make all the loose calls he wanted. I was dealt a pocket pair (can’t remember which ones) and pushed all-in for $4400. White Chip had limped in with $400, and a smart player would have folded in that situation—but not White Chip! Nope, he says to himself, “Hey, I got $400 bucks in the pot, I can’t fold to an all-in,” and calls with absolutely nothing! Unfortunately, when the community cards were dealt, White Chip’s bullshit hit, and Jihad was issued his walking papers.

Afterwards, Code Blue and I were discussing White Chip’s play, and Blue said that with Chip’s chip lead, he was sure to win the tournament or at least make the top 3 and cash. Jihad, who has been playing Poker for over 4 years and who has seen this kind of crazy, loose play before (mostly in the DDPT on the part of people like Chill, Front Page, Lefty, and Suge), told Blue that there was no way in God’s good hell that White Chip was gonna cash! Code Blue called me crazy when I told him that! I said to Blue, “You wanna make a bet???” Blue said, “Yes!” So, we bet 5 bucks on it. If White Chip Dan made the top 3 in this tournament, I would lose. But if he busted out, I would win. Well, Blue, don’t you know how UNLUCKY you are??? ‘Cause sure enough, Frank was sent downstairs and within minutes took the majority of White Chip’s white chips away from him!!! I was upstairs when it happened, but I heard Unknown downstairs screaming with excitement at the top of his lungs, prompting me to immediately run downstairs and witness the ABSOLUTELY HUMILIATING SLAUGHTER OF WHITE CHIP THAT TOOK PLACE!!! White Chip Dan still had some chips left, but it was only a matter of time that he would bust out, and I, Jihad, would be 5 bucks richer! Afterwards, I went and thanked White Chip Dan for doing such a splendid job of helping me to recuperate at least $5 of what I lost in that tourney. Needless to say, he wasn’t too happy!

Moving on, I and some of the other players who got knocked out played a side game. During which, I believe, Frank won the first tourney and Chill (unfuckingbelievably) came in 2nd Place!

I won the side game. There were 7 players total: Me, Dollar Bill, Code Blue, Dave, Dom a.k.a. Donny, Lexy, and Jay. On the first hand, Jay was dealt a monster and tried to slow play me, but I recognized what he was doing and immediately nicknamed him “Slow-Play Jay”! I even came up with a song for him that goes something like…

SLOW PLAY JAY
SLOW PLAY JAY
SLOW PLAY MAYBE JAY

Well, it doesn’t sound like much now, but it was cool and funny when I was singing it!

Now, this side game was marvelous fun! We were all having a blast…except for Code Blue! Code Blue was losing his chip stack and pushed all-in against me when I was on the BB. I look down and see A7. Code Blue was having such bad luck that I decided I would make a loose call in the hope of doubling him up and rebuilding his confidence, which has been lacking like crazy lately. So, I call his all-in, we flip ‘em over, and he’s got QQ. Congrats, Blue! You’re a winner! Wait, not so fast, ‘cause what comes out on the turn??? But an ACE! What followed was a tirade of insults and profanity by Code Blue directed at none other than yours truly. I said, “Blue, I was trying to help you!” To which he responded, “You could have folded!!!” My favorite line in this verbally abusive tirade was when Blue excused himself after I stacked him and said he was going outside to “shoot a squirrel.” Lexy, knowing full well that I am animal rights/vegan type o’ guy, said, “I think that was directed at you, Dom!” Gee, you think??? LOL!!!

But the best hand of the night—of the ENTIRE night!!!—came when I was dealt 66. Lexy raised pre-flop, Dave calls, I call. Flop comes with a 6—NICE! I got a set! Lexy bets. Dave calls. I slow play. Turn comes. Lexy bets. Dave bets. I call. Oh, and on the river, lo and behold what comes out??? None other than a 6!!!!!!!!!!!! I got quads. Lexy goes all-in. Dave starts counting his chips. I said, “Dave, don’t keep me in suspense, guy, are you calling or folding?” He said he was calling and continued to count his chips. I said, “Dave, don’t bother counting ‘em, brother!” as I flipped over the stone-cold nuts and took down the pot! Yes, I was chip leader. Yes, I won this tourney. Yes, it was tons o’ fun!!! When it came time for the heads-up round, Dollar Bill, feeling intimidated by my EEEEEENOOOOOORRRRRMOUS chip stack, conceded defeat and said he would just take 2nd Place. I informed Bill that there was no point in doing that, since the game upstairs was still going on, so let’s just play it out and see what happens. Bill goes all-in. I call. Okay, so it was inevitable, what can I tell ya! I still can’t believe I hit quad 6’s on that hand and stacked Lexy and Dave! I mean, I love stacking people I don’t like or who act all cocky at the table (because I never, ever act cocky at the table…or on the blog, for that matter!). So, to knock out two super-nice folks like them was painful for me…but I quickly got over it!!!

I don’t really remember much from the 2nd tourney, as the Scotch was kicking in by then. I DO remember knocking Chill out early on (Chill? Knocked out early??? Surely, I jest!). But this time, I actually felt bad about knocking him out. He gave me this sad look, too, like with puppy-dog eyes, almost as if to say, “My family and I will starve as a result of this. How could this happen? How could I gamble away my family fortune in this manner? I hate myself.” And truthfully, I DID feel bad about knocking Chill out. I mean, it’s one thing when I knock him out in a sanctioned DDPT event—that is great fun! But to knock him out in front of outsiders i.e. non-DDPTers just didn’t feel right to me. Oh well, I got over it very quickly!

So, we combined tables, and I managed to make it to the top 4! I was the Short Stack, and the blinds were going up so exponentially that I was forced to make a move I did not want to make. At this point, City was also a bit of a Short Stack, so we were battling for 3rd Place. Unfortunately, he had a few more chips than me, and guess who was on the BB? Yup, me. Liza had called under the gun and Slow-Play Jay, who was chip leader, folded as did City, who was the SB. I look down to see 3-5os. Now, this is a crappy hand, but I figured since everybody else was sucking-out like crazy tonight, perhaps it was my turn, too? Not only that, but I really only had 2BB total, so I said to myself, “Let’s gamble!” and pushed all-in. Liza was thinking about for a little while, until she realized that with her impressive chip stack and with the fact that she had already limped in, it would not be a big deal to call—which was the correct play. She turns over A7, I believe, and she hits a 7 on the flop. Thing is, there’s also a straight possibility on the board, and if the river hit with a 4 I would have the nut straight. Well, it was not to be, thus I busted out on the bubble!

The final 3 were City, Liza and Slow-Play Jay…and they all played great Poker! Truly! It was a pleasure to watch, actually—because, frankly, in the DDPT, we just don’t see this level of sharp Poker playing skills. Anyway, City was first to go, leaving Liza and Slow-Play to battle heads-up. Slow-Play had more chips and used that to his advantage. Eventually, Liza would join the rest of us on Losers Row, and Slow-Play Jay would celebrate as I sang…

SLOW-PLAY JAY
SLOW-PLAY JAY
SLOW-PLAY MONEY JAY

SLOW-PLAY JAY
SLOW-PLAY JAY
SLOW-PLAY GIMME CASH JAY

You get the idea!

So, to tally up for the night…

I spent $80 to play 4 tourneys. I won 1st Place in the side game, which gave me $50. Plus, I won my little bet with Code Blue, which gives me an extra $5. So, on the night, I lost $25. Not bad for an unlucky night, IMO. The previous weekend, I won 2 of 3 tourneys I played in South Jersey at Front Page’s house, and went home with $100 profit. Clearly, I know how to win money playing Poker, and when the DDPT Championship occurs in 8 days, I will add to my already-impressive bankroll!

1/20 Game report written by Bill

This past weekend 8 of us from the Dirty Dirty Poker Tour, City, GOAT, T-Chill, Frank, Chrissy, Code Blue, Jihad, and I got together at Frank's for some unsanctioned tourneys in preparation for the DDPT Championship Event on February 3. We were joined by some of Frank’s relatives and the GE Money poker crew. A total of 16 people played in two tournaments and one mini-tournament “side game.” There were winners and losers, but all had a great time. Thanks to Frank for hosting the event! The following is a very biased report on how my night went down.

I need to pay my credit card on time, as GE Money took enough of my cash on Saturday. Game one began for me in the Frank’s basement, with six other players, including fellow DDPTers T-Chill, Code Blue and Chrissy, with Abby, Dan, and David filling out the septet. The others played were eight-handed upstairs, with the plan being to combine the two tables when the field narrowed to eight. The hand that set the tone early started off with Code Blue being dealt A 10 and a flop of KQJ, giving him the nut straight. Dan stayed in all the way, calling Blue’s all-in and turning over KQ and top two pair. With Blue ready to rake in the chips, I say, “Wait, he could still fill — oh.” The queen comes on the river, giving Dan the boat and an early chip lead. This was just another in a season of bad beats for Code Blue, but we all know he’s due for a big game as the DDPT Championship looms. Dan, meanwhile, used his winnings to build up a monstrous stack for himself. He took me out after I pushed with A 10 and an ace and rags on the board. When he turned over AK, I was headed for the showers. Dan, who we started calling “White Chip” because he was only betting with the $1,000 white chips, the largest denomination, mowed down David, and Jihad, who had been shifted over to our table. When Frank joined the table, he relieved Dan of a good portion of his chips just before the tables would combine.

The ensuing side game, consisting of myself and five other early knockouts, plus “Slow Play” Jay, who arrived late and missed the beginning of the first game, was more of a “victims of Dan and Mike” support group (Mike having ran most of the upstairs table). It was small consolation for us that neither of those guys would even finish in the money. The all-DDPT final three consisted of GOAT, Chill, and Frank. In the heads-up, Chill faced Frank in what many pundits figured to be a preview of the final match up for the DDPT championship. There was no stopping Frank this day, as he thawed out the big Chill, and the DDPT was spared a slew of “I’m getting hot just in time for the Championship” posts from Chill on their blog.

In the side game, the big hand happened without me, as I had folded my slop and went behind the bar to grab a Snapple. When I came back, I was in the final three. Jihad had knocked out the rest of the field, and acquired about 90% of the chips on the table, with quad sixes. Don and I were left with short stacks to battle for second place. Don pushed and lost, and my desperation all-in on the next hand didn’t work, but I was good enough for second place.

In game two, most of the GE Money crew had gone home, but I still had to deal with Frank’s relatives. First was Frank’s sister-in-law, Lexy. With pocket tens and a ragged flop, I made a large bet, and she called. This was not unusual, as she had called so much that we were calling her “the operator” and “always in.” With rags on the turn and river, I figured my tens were still good, so I bet larger amounts and, true to her nicknames, “the operator” called. At the end of the hand, she turned over her pocket aces, and half my stack was gone. “Great,” I’m thinking, “Keep slow playing those aces. See what happens.” Sour grapes or prophetic genius? Before you decide, consider this: On the next hand, Lexy is dealt pocket aces again, and ends up pushing against her big sister, Lisa, who turned over pocket kings. It looked like it was all over for Lisa, but she showed why the older child is the wiser, or at least, the luckier. A king falls on the river and Lexy’s night is done. Just desserts for her? You decide!

In any case, what Frank’s sister-in-law didn’t take from me, his brother-in-law David did. I had AK with a ragged board. He bet, I raised, and he went all in, so I folded. I was anemic after that until GOAT finally took me out. On a later hand, David went all in with absolutely nothing. I’ll remember that for next time Dave! Jihad, who was on life support, busted out on the bubble when the blinds were 800/1600. He only had about 2 or 3 BB left, so when the BB fell on him, he pushed with 3-5os and got called by Lisa who held A-7. No need to tell you how that one played out! The final three came down to “Slow Play” Jay, Lisa, and City from the DDPT. Jay won the heads up match against Lisa, while City cashed for the first time in a year in which he played few games.

All in all, it was a fun and entertaining evening!

The Art of Short Stack PLay

We have all been there. You have played a strong game, won a few pots, lost others and generally kept your head above water but now find yourself short stacked with the blinds rising rapidly. How you react to this situation determines if you are going to be profitable or not.

There are 3 critical points that must be considered in Short Stack play which generally starts at 13BB. When you have 13BB's you can still raise pre-flop 2BB's to 3BB's and get away from a re-raise or bad action after the flop and be left with 10BB's. When you have 10BB's you are in all-in mode. This is because if you raise to 2 or 3 BB and get re-raised you are committed to the pot so you are better off shoving all your chips pre-flop so that you can reap the rewards of fold equity and push someone off a better starting hand. The trick of Short Stack play is to consider fold equity, which is the chance that someone will fold a hand because they do not wish to engage you for the raise size that you have made. At 10BB you have a good chunk of fold equity, as your stack dwindles to 6BB's or less people are more prone to calling your all-in pushes with a wider range of hands. The range of hands that they will call you with expands in proportion to decline of your stack up until the point that your stack is no longer considered a threat and is not given much thought. You do not want to get to this point so you must play your small stack aggressively if you hope to be successful.

A good example of excellent short stack play came at my expense in the second tourney on Saturday. I was short stacked with about 8BB's. Lisa limped in with AQ, I shoved all-in with 99. Lisa at this point asked what are the blinds (actually she should have known this with out asking, but that is another topic). She then verbally went through her thought process. She said "you are on a short stack so I know you might be shoving with something that might not be that good. I call". That reasoning, even though she started the hand a little behind, is what won her the hand. This is the kind of reasoning that should be going through your head when you are the Short Stack or have to make a decision when pondering if you should play a hand with a player who is on a short stack.

Tournament Theory and an AC Trip Report

When playing in tournaments there will be a certain percentage of games that you will find yourself getting hit by the deck and win, and an equal amount of tourneys where you will get cold decked and lose. The trick to being profitable is to be able to win a majority of the games where you get only average help from the deck. This is where skill comes into play and if you play correctly it will lead to profits.

Yesterday I had the day off because of a Federal Holiday granted due to the dearly departed Gerald Ford. Taking this holiday as an omen of good things to come I travel down the Garden State Parkway to my favorite New Jersey destination, Atlantic City.

The day starts off with me winning the first hand I am dealt of the New Year at a 1/2 table. A sign of things to come? I make a few dollars before beginning the 50+10 /AO MTT at The Borgata. Not much to write about on this one except the turnout was huge. 154 players with a first prize of $4500. I over play KK in the second round and get knocked out by a guy who flopped a set. I know I should not go broke with a pair, but after having raised it up 4BB and gotten 3 callers with 2 diamonds on the flop I felt vulnerable and overbet, big mistake. A lesson learned for $60, but it worked out fine for me because I proceeded to make a $210 profit at the 1/2 table and then chopped for $250 at a 60+15 SNG. I'm not sure I made the right decision in chopping this one. I was outchipped 2.5-1 heads up so I offered a $350 to $250 chop to secure the extra $50. Mathematically it makes sense and the leader was playing solid, but should I just go for the $400. I don't know.


Overall a profitable day and a good start to the New Year. Hopefully a sign of things to come.