Game Report for Saturday 6/16

Tournament Report: The Crew at Frank's 6/16/07

When one thinks of the Poker games that Frank hosts at his house, a
few words come to mind:

-Entertaining
-Fun
-Exciting
-Sick
-Degenerate
-Insanity!!!

Well, this latest event held in Glen Ridge was NO EXCEPTION!!! A
total of 13 people came to play in a $25 buy-in, No-Limit Texas
Hold'em Poker tourney…and everyone left with a story to tell!

The first tourney was split up into 2 tables. I, the great Poker
champion that I am, found myself seated in Frank's rather impressive,
newly-carpeted basement. Everyone loves Frank's basement, as it is
the epitome of the bachelor pad, replete with fully-stocked bar, nice
cozy couch, and a flat-screen TV that makes King Kong look miniscule
in comparison!

Seated at the table with me were: Lisa, Abby, Andy, Alan and Amy.
Yes, you read that right! Four people whose names all begin with the
letter "A"! Unfortunately for them, they were NOT the ones who
brought their "A game" on this particular evening! LOL!

I began my usual assault on the group by first knocking out Frank's
beautiful wife Lisa. I hated to do it. Truly I did. It was a big
pot, too. Alan and Amy were also in the pot. At this point, the
blinds were $50/$100, and, if memory serves, I believe it was Lisa who
had the nerve to raise it up to $300. Alan called. Amy called. And
I said, "What the heck"! and called, too. Now, before I go on, you
probably want to know what my hole cards were: QJos. Not a
particularly good hand, but hey, this is Poker, where anything can
happen, and I came to play! That said, the flop came Q-J-rag. Alan
checks. Amy checks. I push all-in. Lisa's sitting over there
thinking about it. I'm looking at her, and I'm like, "What the hell
is she thinking about? I just pushed all-in. Is she really gonna
call me???" Well, she did, which prompted quick folds from Alan and
Amy. We go to flip 'em over, and Lisa's got American Airlines!!!
What a way to go! Hey, Lisa, if you're reading this, I hate to break
it to ya: But AA is only a pair! Nothing more, nothing less. Better
luck next time, kid!

Now, my chip stack is looking healthy! I continue to beat and
pummel-to-a-pulp everyone at the table and snag up their chips for
myself. I was in a few nice pots with Abby. I took money offa her.
She took money offa me. In the end, I think I took more money offa
her than she took offa me, but that's only natural! Abby played very
good Poker this evening, in the loose-aggressive style, and she
definitely had me and Alan and Andy scratching our heads like, "What
the f#%&!!!" Which, in Poker, is a good thing, not a bad thing i.e.
you always want to keep your opponents guessing! Good job, Abby!

Moving on to my new pal Alan. Oh, poor Alan! You got schooled,
didn't you, bro? You couldn't believe what you saw! You saw me, the
great Dominick, raking in the chips left and right. You were baffled.
You lost all your chips to me. And I thank you kindly for it! On
the hand in question, the one where I knocked Poor Alan out of the
game, he raised it up pre-flop. I look down and see AJclubs, and I'm
like, "Sweeeeeet!" Alan is on the short stack. Heck, Alan was on the
short stack for most of the night, playing weak-tight Poker, a common
mistake among newbie Poker players. Well, I figured my hand was
better than his, and, as Doyle says, "The key to no-limit is to put
your man to the test for all his chips." So I said to Alan, "I'm
gonna put you all-in, man." And Alan, after being taken aback by my
bold announcing of my intended play, correctly called. He flips over
KQos. Sadly for Alan, when the community cards came, they were no
help to him. Clearly he was upset. Later, after we combined tables,
I overheard Frank in the kitchen ask Alan, "Who knocked you out?" To
which my new best buddy Alan responded, "The asswipe over there."
NICE! Alan is just another in a long series of people that I, the
awesome Poker player named Dominick (formerly "Jihad"), have sent away
crying like a baby! It's always nice to see the effect that I have on
people, isn't it? That said, I said to Alan, "Hey, pal, how you gonna
call me names when I was nothing but nice to you downstairs, man???"
But I'm sure all he was thinking was, "I am sour grapes because Dom
knocked me outta da game!" Better luck next time, dude!

So now the tables are combined and the game continues on. I am chip
leader, as usual. But the difference is now I find myself at the
green felt along with Abby, Amy, Andy, Julio, Frank, Ray and Chrissy.
Oh, and the atmosphere is insane, too! Julio, Frank and Ray are all
liquored up thanks to our very special guest Mr. Johnny Walker Black.
I, by comparison, have only drunk a half a beer! Clearly, these guys
were having loads of fun upstairs, whilst I was busy downstairs
grinding out my gigantic, enormous chip lead. Well. Noticing that
the bottle of Johnny Walker is almost depleted, I immediately run to
the kitchen and retrieve a glass so that I can get in on all the fun!
And fun we did have!

A word about Julio and Ray's table presence: THESE GUYS ARE FUCKING
GREAT!!! These are the kind of guys I love to play with: loud,
raucous, drinking-like-crazy, trash-talking, having-a-good-time, cool
dudes! Even Frank let his hair down on this particular night! Frank,
who rarely drinks at the Poker table, was knocking back shots of
Johnny Walker like they was goin' outta style, yo! It was sick!
Aside from that night in AC where I made that big score, this could
definitely be the most fun I've ever had at a Poker game in my entire
life!

I'm not even sure what to write about the antics that henceforth
ensued. I saw Ray push all-in like 50 times, and he won and lost and
won and lost! Abby and Amy and Andy eventually fizzled out, as they
were all on the short stack. Speaking of which, I'd like to say that
I thought Amy played a very good, solid Poker game all night long.
However, her main leak is that she, like Alan, puts too much faith in
the so-called premium hands, and found herself "waiting and waiting"
for the "good hands" to come. In Poker, you can't always wait for a
good hand, because if you do you run the risk of being blinded out.
Sometimes, you have to play a hand you would otherwise throw away.
This is something that they don't teach you in the Poker books…but
genius Poker player that I am, I offer this most-important knowledge
free-of-charge!!! ;)

Anyway, the liquor was kicking in after a while. I excused myself to
go outside and pet Melanie's nice, little dog…and I also fed him roast
beef and turkey. Afterwards, said dog told me that he wanted to go
home with me 'cause I feed him good food. Regretfully, I said that I
already have 2 cats, so sorry dawg you gotta go home with your masters
like you always do! Melanie is Julio's girlfriend who, along with
Tati and Lexy, I didn't get a chance to really play with on this
particular night since we were seated at different tables. However, I
did play with Tati for a little while in the 2nd tourney of the night,
and without a doubt she's a good Poker player…even better than Ray!
Sorry, Ray, I had to say it! 

Speaking of Ray, let's not forget about how I knocked him out of the
game like I would, back in my dairy-eating days, knock out an entire
Ray's pizza pie in New York City! Ray was on-tilt about that, and
going into the second game he made it his mission to play every hand
that I played in the hope of sucking out on me and getting his revenge
on me…which he did! Well, Ray, remember this: Even a broken clock is
right twice a day, and if you keep playing crazy Poker like that
pretty soon your car, your house, and all of your worldly possessions
will be MINE MINE MINE!!! Mark my words, sir! It will happen!

The final 3 at this first tourney were none other than Frank, Chrissy
and MYSELF! We all congratulated each other, the Three Musketeers
that we are, going back as we do to the very first game that Frank
ever hosted around a year and a half ago. In that time, I have seen
both Chrissy and Frank's game improve drastically, and, in turn, these
Poker warriors have also taught me a few things about the game of
Poker. I would say that as a result of Frank's lessons and guidance,
my game is the sharpest it's ever been. When I sit down at a Poker
table, there is no doubt that I will win mad $$$$$$$$$$. This is why
I am so hated/feared by all. People can't beat me, so they get angry,
and that anger festers inside of them and forces them to do anything
in their power to stop me from playing with them. But, like a phoenix
out of the ashes, I always RISE ABOVE!

Wow, that was mighty dramatic, wouldn't you say?

Well, drama aside, I ended up knocking Chrissy out of the game, and
that left the 2 Greatest Poker Degenerates to fight it out mano a
mano! I'm telling you, this game woulda gone on all night! Frank
took a big pot offa me, and then I took one offa Frank, and the next
thing we knew—WE WERE ABOUT EVEN IN CHIPS. So, Frank and I decided to
chop it, because the game lasted a bit longer than we had expected,
and in order to fit in a second tourney meant we would immediately
have to chop the pot 50/50 and move on…which is what we did. But I'm
sure Frank agrees with me on this point: I would have liked nothing
better than to finish that game and see who, at least for this Poker
tourney, was the better player. It would be like if Roger Federer and
John McEnroe, both in their primes, could come together and battle it
out at the U.S. Open! Or Mike Tyson and Ali, both in their primes,
coming together in some cosmic time warp to fight it out, thus letting
the world know once and for all who is truly The Best! But, alas, it
was not to be, as the pot required a chop, so that a second game could
occur…and occur it did!

Ray, by some miracle of God, managed to win the 2nd tourney of the
night. How did he do this? Well, you'll just have to ask Lady Luck,
as I pushed all-in on him and he called, and when we flipped 'em over,
I was ahead…but this is Poker, remember? And in Poker, unlike most
other games, the best doesn't always win. He did the same thing to
Frank and Chrissy, too. I'm sure that when both of them went all-in
against Ray, Ray was severely behind…but they don't call it "The
River" for nothing! Ray took down the 2nd tournament in glorious
fashion…and I for one look forward to playing with him again!

All in all, it was a wonderful night! I made money, ate really well
(Frank, those sandwiches ROCK! Thanks for getting me the veggie
sandwiches…they were delicious, sir!), got drunk (thanks again, Frank
and Mr. Walker), and had a blast! Frank and Chrissy by far host the
best Poker games around. Not everyone leaves with money, but everyone
does leave with a full belly and great memories!

Lastly, Frank, Chrissy, Ray, Julio and myself are gonna be hitting
that mecca of gambling this Sunday, June 24th to play in the 11am MTT
at the Showboat…and then afterwards, we plan on moseying on over to
the Borgata for a little cash game action. I suspect that with the 5
of us in that tourney, it will be sick!!!!!!!!!! I'm especially
looking forward to playing with new guys Ray and Julio, 'cause these
guys are like me: they are funny and play sick, crazy Poker…oh, and
they like to drink!!! Guys, this weekend will be one for the books!
See you then!

Respectfully submitted,
Dominick the Poker Champ!